The bird of eternal repose

When my mother died I looked and talked to her a lot while she was lying in her coffin. When it was time to go home and rest from the wake(i think the wake was for 3 days),I was alone in our house and I lied down in bed and holding close to my heart was her picture. I said to her, if your soul is still around that it would make me glad to see you. I was not afraid to look at dead people because I have seen a lot of them stabbed to death or gasped for their last breath when I worked in the hospital before---much more when it was my mom. I did not stopped talking to her for days and weeks and months. I guess I have recovered from my feeling of sadness only after two years.

Today, when I learned that my friend Remy died, I cannot helped myself from crying and so, I have decided to start drawing. Many times I would paint when I am not feeling well and without any idea whatsoever what to draw and, from the time I have already used a lot of colors that my hands would lead me to whatever I have seen was forming and continue from there. Usually, as I continue painting that I also feel the outpouring of emotions and ideas. It helps me a lot actually because I will end up feeling better and, with the hope of ending my negative feelings. When my mother and father died, I would always look at the sky and I will see a bird - a beautiful bird that have made me smile all the time.....That somehow deep within me is a kind of hope that we end up in a paradise where the promises of eternal happiness is waiting. I will call this bird that I have painted the bird of eternal repose. It is similar to a dove only that she has some pastel colors in her wings and body. Powder blue and in silk is one of my favorite colors and a touch of red. Those colors represent peace and love. That for those who have lost their loveones-that I wish the bird of eternal repose will pass by and give them peace and love.

Memories of the Heart

I received a message today from my loveones back home. A very good friend of mine died some days ago. She died in Los Angeles but she was buried in the Philippines. I tried calling her on her birthday last November 8 but no one was answering. She has been living in Los Angeles for some years now for treatment of breast cancer. She had undergone Chemotherapy and her cancer was cured. She was able to worked and lived on her own afterwards. But, unfortunately it has weakened her heart and she died of heart failure as what my sister in law have told me. I don’t know what really happened because they have tried not to talk about it since she moved to L.A.

She was the favorite doctor of my grandfather. She had operated on his cataract and really took good care of him afterwards. I would go along with my grandfather and we became good friends since then. She was there during the first time my heart was broken. She helped me opened up my feelings and send away those migraines . She would fetched me and we went hopping from one restaurant to another and, sometimes we danced the night away and went from one ballroom party to another. She was such a nice and kind person. Unfortunately, she did not get married and took good care of her parents and siblings when they were sick. Her mother have become her constant companion and best friend. But, later on she adopted a beautiful baby and called her Donna. She loved her so much and made sure that she has already prepared her future. I am shedding my tears for her because I love her and I miss her so much. It could have been nicer when she was only some houses away when she was sick and we could have spent a lot of time together. But one thing I know, her family took good care of her and was there during the last years of her life. And for sure, she went away with the complete acceptance of God’s will.

See the changes

This is the third time I have changed the banners for my three(3) blogs. You can see the difference by clicking here. The latest ones that I have made are digital manipulated pictures.

Small

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all those who have visited my blog and especially for those who even left comments for my last entry in IF which is free.

I have different kinds of ideas for this week's topic but the cold winter day is making me a little lazy to paint and I am having a hard time concentrating. I have this little porcelain small buddha which have been with me for 15 years. I wanted to take a picture of it but, my camera was teasing me and it all turn out orange like the background- with only a very little shadow of the buddha, so I thought it would be easier and it will not take so much time to draw if I used the distorted picture of it as a base for my drawing and here's how it turned out. And here is the actual picture. My canon EOS camera flash is out of order and for this picture I used the Fuji brand.

Home

I am a Barbra Streisand fan. Here's one of her songs that I like so much.
When I think of home, I think of a placeWhere there's love overflowingI wish I were home, I wish I was back thereWith the things I've been knowin?Wind that makes the tall trees bend into leaningSuddenly the snowflakes that fall have a meaningSprinkling the seaMakes it all cleanMaybe there's a way for me to go backNow that I have some directionIt would sure be nice to back homeWhere there's love and affectionAnd just maybe I can convince time to slow upGiving me enough time in my life to grow upTime be my friendLet me start againSuddenly my world's gone and changed it's faceBut I still know where I'm goin?I have had my mind spun around in spaceAnd yet I've watched it growin?If you're listening god, please don't make it hard to goIf we should believe the things that we seeTell us should we run away, should we try and stay? Or is better just to let things be? Living here in this brand new world might be a fantasyBut it's taught me to love so it's real to meAnd I've learned that we must look inside our hearts to findA world full of love like yours and mineLike home

Happy happy birthday!

Today is the birthday of one of the most eloquent writers on line and a talented artist. Carla-Here’s wishing you a fun filled day and lots and lots of blessings for you and your loveones. As you begin another birthday year-may it brings all the special things that mean the most to you.
I hope your colds are gone already! Take good care-

There's something wrong with the uploading of images but I will try again later.

I cannot upload it directly until now so I decided to upload it to flicker first. Kindly click here.

Free

Feel free to tell something about my illustration.

Happy Birthday my dear Ate(Eldest Sister) Elvie

How time flies and it's your birthday again. 'Seems not so long ago that you have this long hair, and I don't remember for how long and for some years now you've got to like the short style-so easy to manage I suppose. I have always admired my Ate Elvie for her being an obedient daughter, a responsible, helpful to a fault, hardworking, generous, intelligent, loyal and sweet person. I miss her a lot and I will be praying that her wishes will come true, that she will always be in good health and she'll have more fun times with my siblings, nephews and nieces- For you my Ate-I am dedicating this song that was always sung to me during my birthday.

Birthday Song
Words & Music by Don McLean
If I could say the things I feel, it wouldn't be the sameSome things are not spoken of, some things have no nameAnd though the words come hard to me, I'll say them just for youFor this is something rare for me this feeling is so newYou see I love the way you love meLove the way you smile at me,I love the way we live this life we're inLong ago I heard the song that lovers sing to meAnd through the days with each new phrase I hummed that melodyAnd all along I loved the song but I never learned it throughBut since the day you came along, I've saved it just for youYou see I love the way you love meLove the way you smile at me,I love the way we live this life we're in I don't believe in magic but I do believe in you And when you say you believe in meThere's so much magic I can do Now you see me now you don't watch me dive belowDeep down in your love lake where the sweet fish come and goAnd I might sink and I might drown but death don't mean a thing'Cause life continues right or wrong when I play this birthday songI learned from you, and you can't even sing.

lighting effects

She loves watching the sun rising and setting in her big and round window glass. This is how she sleeps with her back comfortably lying in her water bed.

Neon glow

I am working on this digital drawing this morning. This is one version. It is something about a young woman in the privacy of her own bedroom-but not really private as I am going to reveal it. Maybe funny but definitely not sad. This is just one of the images.

my favorite

I have done this illustration last May and no one have seen it. It is one of my favorite drawing and I have already set it in my photo space on the right side. Actually I am already addicted to drawing and painting that I have neglected working in our garden. I was used to divide or make a time schedule of my daily activities but I have stopped doing it. I have lots of different kinds of problems nowadays and painting and drawing have become a therapy for me. I feel so weird for neglecting a lot of things but I don't intend to stay like this for a long time. Right now, I am going to write down, define and segregate my problems. I will try to find solutions for them if I can by myself if not, I will ask for help.

Kerry Bonne Fete!

I almost missed greeting one of the sweetest and talented woman on line. Thanks to another scorpio born- the wittyAnonymous of Australia. To you Kerry-I am wishing you days full of smileys, wonderful times, good health, and granted wishes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVE!

Steve- Here's wishing you good health, more fun times, more blessings and a million more to share.

Imagine how many scorpions and sagittarians I know. There'll be more who are celebrating in the days and weeks to come. I just want to say---"A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip."

Strength

I really wanted to make an illustration of a carabao( which I might do later on) but since I don’t have the strength to do it today(I’m having a relapse since I was sick since saturday evening) that I have thought of another painting that I finished two days ago. The original version is kind of sensual in which my husband really likes a lot. This is another version that I did in Photoshop. I did a lot of version even making it look like there was a window glass in front of them to make it a little discreet, whatever… Anyway, don't you think it fits this week’s topic?

Many Happy Returns

I happen to know that there are three women and a man who were born on this day! They are Diane-Violet is my color (Oregon)Mercy(Phils and Austria)Remy(Los Angeles)and Geofrey(Australia). I am wishing you all a snow of blessings on this very special day and always. I am also sending my greetings to the rest of those who were born on this day. Have a nice celebration of life!

Night

Kindly click the image for the bigger size. When I was little I always look forward in playing with other children in the neighborhood. We would play outside the house because during that time, there were only very few houses and there was a big fields in front of our house. Flying kites was a favorite and another game called catch me if you can! It was so nice to play until nightime but my mother have given us a curfew time to play and we should be inside before six o’clock especially if we were playing with some boys. She’s a bit strict because we are 3 girls…… They would only allow us to play after dinner if we were with my eldest sister and cousins, and if the moon is radiantly showing itself fully. We would go out of the house and come together to talk, laugh and eat some peanuts or hot balut(a fertilised egg with a partially developed duckling, which is eaten boiled) or pandesal (a soft bun) or even mangoes. It became a kind of girl bonding. We also played games in the street like piko(the game in the illustration-and I cannot remember now how it’s called in english) hide and seek, or went cycling around the neighborhood. These memories keeps coming back because I am far away from therm and it makes me smile everytime I thought about it. Come think about it, life was so simple then.

Food

I was tagged by Bea and you can find it here.

Beautiful and wild

WILDFLOWER
She's faced the hardest times you could imagine And many times her eyes fought back the tears And when her youthful world was about to fall in Each time her slender shoulders bore the weight of all her fears And a sorrow no one hears still rings in midnight silence in her ears Let her cry, for she's a lady Let her dream, for she's a child Let the rain fall down upon her She's a free and gentle flower growing wild And if by chance I should hold her Let me hold her for the time But if allowed just one possession I would pick her from the garden to be mine. Be careful how you touch her for she'll awaken And sleep's the only freedom that she knows And when you walk into her eyes you won't believe The way she's always payingfor debts she never owes And a silent wind still blows that only she can hear and so she goes Let her cry, for she's a lady Let her dream, for she's a child Let the rain fall down upon her She's a free and gentle flower growing wild.....

by D. Richardson and D. Edwards