The bird of eternal repose

When my mother died I looked and talked to her a lot while she was lying in her coffin. When it was time to go home and rest from the wake(i think the wake was for 3 days),I was alone in our house and I lied down in bed and holding close to my heart was her picture. I said to her, if your soul is still around that it would make me glad to see you. I was not afraid to look at dead people because I have seen a lot of them stabbed to death or gasped for their last breath when I worked in the hospital before---much more when it was my mom. I did not stopped talking to her for days and weeks and months. I guess I have recovered from my feeling of sadness only after two years.

Today, when I learned that my friend Remy died, I cannot helped myself from crying and so, I have decided to start drawing. Many times I would paint when I am not feeling well and without any idea whatsoever what to draw and, from the time I have already used a lot of colors that my hands would lead me to whatever I have seen was forming and continue from there. Usually, as I continue painting that I also feel the outpouring of emotions and ideas. It helps me a lot actually because I will end up feeling better and, with the hope of ending my negative feelings. When my mother and father died, I would always look at the sky and I will see a bird - a beautiful bird that have made me smile all the time.....That somehow deep within me is a kind of hope that we end up in a paradise where the promises of eternal happiness is waiting. I will call this bird that I have painted the bird of eternal repose. It is similar to a dove only that she has some pastel colors in her wings and body. Powder blue and in silk is one of my favorite colors and a touch of red. Those colors represent peace and love. That for those who have lost their loveones-that I wish the bird of eternal repose will pass by and give them peace and love.