fear of rejection

I had a couple and more of experiences where I was rejected especially when I was younger. My bedroom then, was not really well lighted that the view outside the window doesn’t give so much light and, everytime I would be rejected or some of my works, I would sat down in my bed in the dark for hours. I liked it when I cried because it takes a shorter time to recover and do something else afterwards. My bedroom is also a source of refuge for me especially when I was not living alone in the house. I create almost everything in my bedroom especially in expressing my feelings by drawing or painting or just anything that I can create. Weird.I always scattered everything in my bed or even does some painting with white linens on. Nowadays, my bedroom is so well lighted that the sun and moon makes me lie down and read or sleep or just listen to some music, or just admiring the moon during nights when it is shining full.