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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Dark Moments

Many of you have already guessed, felt, said, asked and saw how I was feeling in the way I have done my illustrations and I never said anything about it. Actually, It was not intentional but I think subsconciously I was expressing my feelings in my illustrations. I am sharing one thing today and I wanted you all to know that I am sad. I have never been so sad in my life. It is not depression but a problem that is so delicate and personal. I wanted to share it with you my friends but I don't even know where to start.... I maybe be selfish-I have become so selfish to myself for not asking help but you see, I grew up solving my own problems no matter how hard it is. It can be pride or even lack of self confidence or having this fear to be misunderstood, or maybe I have doubts that I can explain it well(maily because so many things have happened already that have made it too complicated), or it can also be that I lost that feeling of trusting another human being. I was betrayed a couple of times in the past and it is hurting me so much until now. My problem have started the same month last year, I only tried to calm down and forget it when the big Tsunami hit Asia last year. I said to myself that my problem is too small compared to those people who have lost their loveones and homes and everything.... and then came hurricane after hurricane.

I believe in green pastures and the light that we see, after having experienced dark moments in our lives and that no matter how difficult and mind boggling life is - it is still beautiful. I can only ask you to wish or to pray for me-that will be a big help. One day, when this is over that maybe my illustrations will also change and I can already tell the stories I still have to share with all of you. Lots of them.....

4 Comments:

Blogger Autumn Storm said...

Isay, your illustration is wonderful, especially like the silver silk sky.

Putting things into perspective is not a bad thing, at all. It reminds us to be thankful for all that we have.
However, no problem when significant to that person should be compared to e.g. major-scale trajedies etc and thereby deemed unworthy/unimportant!
For you this is something major and it doesn't become smaller, just because someone else is going through worse.

Do what you have to do to get through it, no need to share (said this many times), but know, I'm here to help if I can.
Hugs, x

December 06, 2005 1:09 PM  
Blogger Aravis said...

The solitary figure seems to capture well the way you're feeling. We're here for you though if you would like to share. Personal pain is no small thing and it isn't fair to yourself to compare it to major catastrophes. Your pain is no less real or valid because it is yours alone.

Anyway, I will certainly keep you in my prayers and hope that your situation improves.

You're in my thoughts.

December 06, 2005 11:46 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

Bless you for asking for help and I offer any blessing that in my power to give!

December 07, 2005 1:16 PM  
Blogger carla said...

Isay, I am sorry you are feeling so sad and that you seem to be carrying this burden by yourself. This illustration seems to reflect that...a lonely traveler in a vast desert. But you've left the horizon visible...so I am sure you will find your way through whatever it is that's hurting so much. Of course I will send my prayers and best wishes your way. You have a sweet soul that should only be wrapped in warmth:>

December 07, 2005 1:48 PM  

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