Fear

The following illustrations are some drawings in my sketchbook that I have finished some weeks ago. I have been busy drawing and practicing everyday. I have started with pencil and ended up with Photoshop. I am moving slowly in using watercolor and oil and still finding my way with it. As usual, I am sharing with you some of my past experiences.

My stories today is about FEAR. I experience fear from time to time. Fear comes within me as a reaction to danger. It is a part of my human nature that is very useful in my life. It comes alive so I can respond to threatening situation. The following stories are from my past in which I had experienced different kinds of fear and how I managed to overcome it.
There was a time that robbery was frequent in our place. Sometimes, some people ended up wounded or badly hurt. One evening, I was awaken by steps in the roof and I was sure it was not the cats from our neighbors but from a person and it was not only one but maybe more. My first reaction was to shout and I did shout with all my might-“Robbers! Robbers! Robbers!. Everybody was awaken by my voice and we all went in the windows to see. There were already the police that were after them and what they did was to climb the roofs to get to the other side or even hide in the dark corners. They were all caught because the neighbors also helped and open all their lights in their houses. The next morning, I cannot talk because I have no voice.

The plane was supposed to be landing in Schipol Airport twenty minutes ago as what the Captain have been announcing but we did not. It was very rough floating and going around in the skies..Time passes by and it was almost one hour already. The passengers were worried and some of them even the men where already vomitting. I tried to be calm eventhough I felt something in my stomach and, so many things have been going on in my head. I was about to take the paper bag when I heard my seatmate’s voice asking me if I was afraid. I answered her no, are you? She said “ no, I am not, but we can do some breathing exercises together”. I said, ”okay!”. And we agreed that we have to close our eyes and she lead our exercise. I suddenly felt relaxed when she started slowly guiding me in the exercise. Her voice was so nice and it was like that for so long as I can remember. The pilot only succeeded in landing after more than two hours in the air. There were no explanations, we were all just happy we made it. I thanked my seatmate and asked her name and where she’s from. She was an angel sent to me whose name is Jennifer and she is from New Jersey.

The first time I became really afraid about the political situation in our country came one afternoon, when I was in school and the electricity went out and all the students were sent home. It was a big crowd going out of the gates talking all at the same time. The news broke out. Benigno Aquino Jr. was assassinated. It felt like everything was dark. Suddenly, there was heavy traffic. There was no transportation available for the commuters because of the sudden flow of people on the streets. I saw my friends and we got together and we decided to have some snack in a restaurant but it was also full. A lot were busy talking about what was happening. Some were just in the corners sitting, standing, thinking and waiting. I know that we are worried and afraid and it seemed that everything stopped for so many hours. It felt like we were all in the dark. The assassination of Benigno Aquino Jr. transformed the opposition movement overnight from a small isolated movement to a mass movement involving people across all classes of society in Metro Manila. A historical event that gave me a lot of fears but also hope….

There’s only one shield that’s keeping me from harm and danger and also for my lovelones and those who have been experiencing the same thing-and that is praying.